some conversations made

memutuskan untuk kembali ke company lama bukan keputusan yang mudah. apalagi gue udah pernah ngerasain di PE ini, gue jadi tau bahwa beban moral yang harus ditanggung itu lebih berat, karena say goodbye untuk kedua kalinya somehow jauuuhhh lebih sulit dibanding yang pertama kali.

makanya walopun ada beberapa tawaran dan kesempatan yang masuk dari dulu, gue ga pernah bener2 serius mempertimbangkannya, karena menurut gua kalo gua harus resign kedua kali dari PE, gue musti punya alasan yg kuaaattt banget.

dulu gue sempet mikir kayanya PE ini jadi company gue yg terakhir sebelom gue pensiun, atau kalopun emang pindah kerja ya ga di indo lah, mungkin gua akan resign kalo gua mo cari peluang di negara tetangga.
sapa sangka ternyata gue resign bukan karena pensiun, tapi karena pindah ke company laen, company lama pula :p

pada saat tawaran dari Ig mulai menarik, gua mulai berpikir dan mempertimbangan buanyaaak banget faktor.
berkonsultasi dengan beberapa orang, mempertanyakan dan berusaha mencari jawaban atas keragu-raguan gue.

pertanyaan yg gue ajukan ke si ex bos malaysia

gue: why me? I mean, for (si ex bos bawel) and (si ex CTO), they have seen me managed the team before, so I can understand if they have their personal judgement about my capability to manage people. but when I worked with you, I was still purely a programmer, so you basically never see my managing capability.

** gue merasa harus menanyakan hal ini, karena dengan offer yang berulang2 dari Ig, gue mau ga mau jadi merasa koq terkesan Ig ga bisa cari orang laen amat sih :p, dan dengan rejection yang harus gue ajukan berkali2, lama2 gue berasa jadi orang koq sombong banget, apalagi waktu gue ngajuin terms & condition, kesannya koq gue sombong dan sok banget, sampe ngajuin permintaan yg ngga2 **

ex bos malaysia: well, it's true. but from my experience working with you, I can tell that you are a good learner. you are willing to learn and you're a fast learner. more over, I like your attitude. (big boss) also agree, he likes your attitude. I personally think that attitude is the most important thing. plus you have the experience, you know the system, so I don't need to teach you from basic.

pernyataan yg gue ajukan ke si ex bos bawel

gue: I hope you're not expecting me to bring back all the team member, because I can't and I won't

ex bos bawel: eh, I never thought that way. it is true that it was hard when you guys left, but life goes on...we managed to hang on, and in fact the team is settle now. so we don't need the old team, we only need you to manage what we have now and keep things work.

pertanyaan yg gue ajukan ke temen gue yg masih nyangkut di Ig

gue: emang skrg kondisi disana gimana sih?

temen: ya menurut gue sih much better dibanding waktu gue baru masuk dulu (dia masuk beberapa bulan sblm gue resign :D)

pertanyaan yg gue ajukan ke temen gue yg laen lagi

gue: menurut elo gimana?

temen: ya skrg elo mikirnya gini, buat apa loe punya gaji gede tapi abis buat biaya perawatan kalo, amit2 yah, elo atau anak loe atau laki loe sakit.

nasehat dari ex CTO

ex CTO: If you finally decide to accept the offer, you must remember that you are there to manage the team, focus on managerial thingy, take the chance to learn, don't drag yourself into technical.

dan masih banyaaaakk lagi pertimbangan dan pertanyaan2 yg gue ajukan ke orang2 itu.
sampe akhirnya gue pada kesimpulan, I'm going to take this chance.

I may still need to justify and explain my decision to many more people (specially the dream team members :p), answer their questions about whether I have really thought about it before I decide, which of course I had, God knows how many days it took me to think and finally made the decisions.

but I'm ready.

I'm also ready for any consequences I have to face by leaving my comfort zone.

cause I know I'm not alone, HE's with me wherever I am :)